Archive for September, 2004

How do I sign up?

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

The Biggest Loser (which doesn’t appear to have a show web site yet) has been announced as a new reality show in which overweight people compete to lose the most pounds, all the while being counseled by fitness instructors and dietitians. The person who loses the most gets to walk away with a quarter million dollars (before taxes).

Frankly, this is the first reality show that seems worth a damn. For almost two decades we’ve had to tolerate all these actor-wannabes who are “living” “real” lives in front of cameras, or “surviving” in some vacation spot where help is only a few feet away if there was any real danger, or pretending that choking down raw cow parts and downing a glass of bile while Joe Rogan encourages you has anything to do with “fear” as opposed to “common sense.” And don’t get me started on these cosmetic surgery competitions.

Now, finally, there’s a true contest which is positive and will benefit everyone on it. Plus, you get to meet Caroline Rhea.

My question is: How do I get on for the second season?

I’m serious, folks. I need to lose dozens and dozens of pounds, and having a competition would give me some real motivation. Back in 1992, when I was unemployed and couldn’t find work in the Wisconsin northwoods, I tried to join the Air Force. Turns out that the MAXIMUM allowable weight for my height was 178, and I weighed 215 at the time. (I hadn’t been 178 since I was 17). I was stunned: I thought the whole point of boot camp was to have a mean drill instructor making remarks about my thighs and shouting at me as I blubbered during pushups…but that whole John Candy thing in S.T.R.I.P.E.S. was a big lie! You have to be in excellent shape before you get in the military.

For some time, I’ve contemplated having a Comic Book Guys Weight Loss Contest, just because I know so many fans and pros who truly need to lose some weight. What am I talking, “some weight”. They need to lose the equivalent of a teenage girl. Unfortunately, I’ve never figured out how to run such a contest online, short of the honor system, or what prizes I could possibly give out to the winners to make it worth it. Plus, approaching people to join the competition wouldn’t make me too many friends in the industry!

But “The Biggest Loser Season Two”? Sign me up! Heck, I don’t even care about the prize money; at least it’s like a fat camp that I don’t have to pay for. And I could use the publicity.

I’m totally serious here, folks. This is a bleg (blog + beg = bleg). If anyone knows who I approach to get in line for the next one, please e-mail me!

UPDATE: I posted a follow-up on October 19th.

Evil Genius?

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

Seth’s post about Evil Genius reminds me of an observation I recently made on the Dixonverse message board:

You’re a supervillain.
You’ve managed to build a subterranean hideout that is heavily defended. It is fully staffed by dozens, maybe hundreds of minions, and yet no one knows about the hideout, meaning that they live onsite in a fully sustainable city, or you have found a way for them to commute and park on a daily basis without anyone learning of the secret hideout. It is huge, with vast hangars and laboratories.

This is not the odd part. Okay, it’s a bit hard to believe, but here’s the odd part:

Why try to use this facility to build a superweapon which will only pay off if you succeed in a risky scheme that will certainly involve confronting do-gooders who have defeated you in all previous encounters?

Why not just grow pot in it?

Flight of the Phoenix trailer

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

The trailer for Flight of the Phoenix is up. Unfortunately, while one of my favorite actors (Hugh Laurie) is supposedly in the movie, he doesn’t appear to be in the trailer.

Giovanni Ribisi looks to steal the show; he sure has come a long way from being Phoebe’s weird brother on “Friends”.

Missster Anderson. I mean, Blade.

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

The new trailer for Blade Trinity uses music from the Matrix while showing scenes containing wire stunts, bullet time effects and invulnerable superhumans fighting with swords. Despite all the copycatting done by the trailer’s producers, this third installment in the trilogy actually seems to have more original elements than you would expect in a sequel.

Why’d this take 28 years?

Wednesday, September 29th, 2004

A boxer is suing Sylvester Stallone because the 1976 film “Rocky” was based on him.

New Incredibles trailer!

Saturday, September 25th, 2004

It’s a funny movie about a family of superheroes.
It’s by Brad Bird, director of “The Iron Giant” and “Family Dog.”
It’s from Pixar.
It’s got Samuel L. Jackson.
And every time we get a new trailer, it looks more awesome.

The Incredibles is going to rock.

End of story.

Who could cast a live action Power Girl now?

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2004

Cult Filmmaker Russ Meyer Dies at 82

Meyer was…well, let’s be blunt: He was the king of movies featuring women with balconies fit for performing Shakespeare. Actually, that’s not as blunt as I could be, but I try to keep this an all-ages blog.

Now, I’ve never actually seen a Russ Meyer film. Not for lack of interest, believe me, but you don’t find “Faster, Pussycat, Kill! Kill!” on the shelf at Blockbuster. The closest I’ve come is owning “Amazon Women on the Moon”, in which Meyer makes a cameo as a video store owner who rents a unique video tape to Marc “Jimmy Olsen” McClure.

And I have to say that Meyer, at least as he comes across in a memorial by Roger Ebert (who wrote a movie with Meyer), seems like a guy I’d have liked to know.

As a fellow breast-obsessed guy myself, I have to agree with him that silicon implants miss the whole point. (So I’m not the only one who thinks that?)

Fantastic Four Movie pix!

Tuesday, September 21st, 2004

Superhero Hype has pictures of the Fantastic Four cast, both from the online version of USA Today and the print version of the article.

Team America’s special Kim Jong Il site

Tuesday, September 21st, 2004

The web site for the Team America World Police Movie now has a special Kim Jong Il section with screen savers and wallpapers of the movie/real life supervillain. Just let the site load and give it a few minutes for the puppet to say all it has to say.

The South Park Studios web site reveals that the Louvre will be destroyed in the movie, and you can see behind the scenes footage of those shots.

Top 300 comics for August

Monday, September 20th, 2004

ICv2 News has the top 300 comics.

Identity Crisis is #3. Makes sense.

But Superman #208 is #2? What? What did I miss? I don’t think I’ve bought a Superman comic since Emperor Joker.

As I scan down the list, the first comic that I am currently buying and enjoying is Teen Titans at #19.

I must admit, I’m stumped at #21 and #22. JLA’s current story arc, “Cheap Angst Of The Gods,” is a mediocre space-filler whose only purpose is to drain twice as much money a month from our pockets while we await Kurt Busiek taking the reigns.

Just for fun, here are the rankings of the rest of the books I enjoy and buy (if they’re on the top 300 at all):

FLASH #213

JSA #64







PVP #8



A few reactions: I sure hope that those “Another Nail” numbers are reorders, given how low they are. Richard Dragon deserves to be higher on the sales list; that book is a guilty pleasure. And while Birds of Prey has decent sales, it should be even higher. If you haven’t checked it out over Gail Simone’s last year, it is time to start hitting the back issue bin. That book is HOT again and its sales just haven’t caught up yet.

Hellblazer writer likes Constantine movie

Monday, September 20th, 2004

Comics Continuum reports:

“I’m not just impressed by what I’ve seen, but by the passion director Francis Lawrence has for the project,” former Hellblazer writer Brian Azzarello said. “This is a dark, mean, moody piece of work that definitely captures the nasty spirit of Hellblazer.”

One word of caution: DC usually boosts all movies, good or bad, given how much money is at risk for parent company Warner Brothers…and how much more profit there is in movies vs. comics. It’s only afterwards that they can say, off-the-record, how much Catwoman stinks or the script to the latest Schumacher Batman film is a disaster in the making. Yet Azzarello is a plain-spoken guy who bluntly states during DC panels that he hates superhero comics, so I don’t know whether he would be toeing the company line or not. It’s something to think about.

Batman wants custody of his young ward

Tuesday, September 14th, 2004

A protestor in England dressed as Batmand and scaled Buckingham Palace to send a message about fathers’ rights.

Palace security is embarrassed that he was able to penetrate the grounds. But hey…it’s Batman! Don’t take it so hard!

Quick visitor poll

Monday, September 13th, 2004

A simple question: Which comic book needs a TPB collection?

My vote is Ostrander’s Suicide Squad. What’s yours?

Day by Day…or not

Monday, September 13th, 2004

Chris Muir’s Day By Day recently had its first interruption after a terrific record of on-time daily postings…and that was due to the hurricane heading for his house! After a few days back at the drawing board, Muir has suspended Day by Day due to family illnesses. According to his final message, several family members are fighting cancer and it is consuming his time.

I’ll miss Day by Day, and hope Chris will let us know if he returns to it.

Elongated Man Speaks!

Sunday, September 12th, 2004

No, that’s not the title to Ralph’s autobiography. I’m referring to Elongated Man finally getting a speaking role in Justice League Unlimited.

It was also cool hearing Billy West as Skeets. (I’ve missed Skeets in the comics. Maybe they’ll bring him back now, since everything in the DCU has to match the cartoons.)

Jeremy Piven, whose biggest credit appears to be “Ellen”, is the voice of Elongated Man. While he did get a bit of a knock, at least it kept him in the front of this story. And it was cool seeing him with Booster, since (at least in the DCU proper) they are the two biggest celebrity superheroes who worry about their fame.

I like the in-jokes in JLU. Booster pleading to go along as J’onn lists off the team assignements, anxiously waiting…and after a look at Booster and a pause, J’onn adds: “Vibe.” Great laugh that VIBE gets to go on the plumb assignment ahead of Booster!

And hey, we get glimpses of Shining Knight on Winged Victory, and Rocket Red. Sweet!

Team America trailer is up!

Saturday, September 11th, 2004

The Team America full trailer is up!

Is it just me, or does one guy say the Klingon expression “Q’plah!” at one point? (All right, Klingon speakers, I probably spelled it wrong. Phonetically it is kuh-plah.)

Aquaman’s Bogus Journey

Saturday, September 11th, 2004

The Comic Reel reports:

Former CBR scribe Rob Worley emailed the Comic Reel with a tip from one of his vast network of spies. Allegedly, DC’s lord of the seas is getting the cinematic treatment, courtesy of producers Alan and Peter Riche and writer Ben Grant. Rob’s source said, “They want this Aquaman to be a goofy screwball comedy. Their thought was, ‘since he’s such a stupid character let’s play that up.'” He then warned me that despite his source’s reliability, this is still just a rumor for now, so caveat emptor and what not.

This has one of the Dixonverse regulars in a snit, since such a movie would detract from the quality property that Aquaman has become over the last decade or two of character development. But I disagree. I’m reposting my comments about it here because Dixonverse message board doesn’t save posts beyone a week or two. Here is what I have to say on the matter:


Mark Steyn on Hellboy

Friday, September 10th, 2004

SteynOnScreen reviews Hellboy (which he just saw on DVD, I’m guessing).

He also hits The Village hard, swings the praises of Spider-Man 2 and manages a review of Fahrenheit 9/11 that sidesteps the political differences and looks at how it works as a movie.


Welcome gottlieb!

Thursday, September 9th, 2004

Seth is joining Monitor Duty! Welcome, welcome.

Who else wants to join? As some of our contributors have moved on to such things as comic book work and defending our country, we’ll need some more people prowling the web for comic book, TV and movie news and rendering helpful comment upon it. If interested, be sure to e-mail me.

Bill Murray’s next smart comedy

Wednesday, September 8th, 2004

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou looks interesting. Interesting in the sense that it could be a bizarre hit or a huge misfire.

The plot appears to be about a Jaques Cousteau-ish underwater researcher who decides to embark on a mission to track down and kill a shark that ate a member of his team.

Best line of the trailer:

“What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?”