I won’t bother getting a photo of the front of my house; it’s just a bunch of light-up plastic pumpkins from Menards and a single jack o’lantern which I carved using the Homestar Runner stencil of Strong Mad’s face. Yeah, it would be cool to do the whole rigamarole like my neighbor who has cobweb strung all around the entrance of his house and fake cardboard tombstones and a monster sprouting out of his lawn. The thing is, we don’t have any kids of our own and we only have about 12-15 separate visits from trick-or-treaters. A small bowl of candy is all we need. Given the pitiful turnout, it seems ridiculous to spend much time decorating the place.
Nevertheless, I wanted to creep out the visitors this year. (As creeped out as you can get with Menards plastic pumpkins lighting up the landscaping.) So I put an old boombox in the bushes, cranked up the volume and had the Midnight Syndicate’s “Vampyre” on REPEAT ALL all night. Very effective!
Way better than that old Disney haunted house sound effects album where a woman begins talking in, ahem, “Chinese” after undergoing water-torture. (My parents actually still have that album. Well, that’s not true. They gave it to me, and I don’t even have a turntable. Plus, you can find the MP3 online!)
Too bad I couldn’t find my Nox Arcana “Necronomicon” album. It’s probably buried on my desk somewhere. Oh, Midnight Syndicate is a little better anyway, but I love the idea of a dark voice bellowing “Chulhuuuuuuu!” as the kiddies ascend the steps. It has the same vibe as those Family Circus cartoons that were rewritten with words from Lovecraft.
UPDATE: Phew! The lengths I go to for my faithful readers. Since writing that last paragraph and posting, I have spent over an hour of googling trying to find “The Nameless Dread” somewhere on the Internet! It took a lot of linking from blogs that were all pointing to the same two sources, both of which had been dismantled after a talking-to by Bil Keane’s lawyers. I guess what I’m saying is…be sure to save any that you like to your own hard drive and fast!