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“…Like watching the President take a crap on his own face!
May 3rd, 2004David Wong of Pointless Waste of Time lays siege to the movie critic industry with this, a hilarious article that is allegedly about the bomb-in-waiting Van Helsing.
Must warn about the R-rated language, though.
“GIVE US US FREE!!!
April 24th, 2004For your completely random announcement of the day, you shall be informed that actor/model Djimon Honsou turns 40 today, if IMDb is to be trusted. Happy Birthday, Djimon!
Laugh now, but this information just might be important one day.
In related news, how come nobody ever told me that Deep Rising was so much fun?
What are you guys, sleeping?
April 9th, 2004Hellooooo? Spider-Man 2 trailer online, people.
New Superman/Seinfeld spots are online…
March 31st, 2004… and they’re funny. Watch them, and laugh at the humor.
Important news flash for all film fans
March 26th, 2004Two of the best movies ever made are being released in Region One DVD!
Disney is finally giving a DVD release to the last three Studio Ghibli films by Hayao Miyazaki (the last three that they haven’t already released, that is): Porco Rosso, My Neighbor Totoro, and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (release date is August 31st)
Nausicaa suffered from an incomplete source material and rushed production, and it shows; it’s easily the weakest Ghibli work and you have my permission to skip it. However, My Neighbor Totoro is a rare joy (FOX already released it on DVD a couple years ago, but it’s English-only and it has about as many special features as I have bodybuilding-related trophies), and Porco Rosso remains one of my two or three favorite movies ever, no exaggeration.
Watching anime generally makes you a geek, but not Miyazaki’s films. Watching Miyazaki makes you a man.
Another shocking Episode III pic!
March 12th, 2004Highly-respected Internet forum gets exclusive spoiler pic of Episode III.
Beware image-spoilery, and also watch out for some of the potty mouths on that board. But wow, what an image!
Just so I don’t have to listen to any of you say it….
March 1st, 2004Post-Academy Award bulletin: The Lord of the Rings Holiday Special wins 11 more Oscars than it deserves. Bleh.
Can anyone tell me exactly how a movie can win an Oscar for “Best Editing” when all signs seem to point to it having literally had no editor?
For a roundup of the Oscars RoTK should have won, click here.
I do not hate the LOTR film trilogy…
February 25th, 2004… only The Two Towers (aka 2 Lord 2 Rings), and Return of the King (aka garbage). The first movie is an absolute marvel. And come to think of it, it’s incorrect to say that I hate those second two, when it’s so obvious that it’s they who hate me.
And the Legolas joke was just one I was repeating from the guys at PointlessWasteofTime.com, so there. Besides, don’t shoot the messenger.
Y’all need to stop trying to provoke me, is what I’m saying.
Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.
But Ra’s Al Ghul isn’t Asian….
February 24th, 2004Batman-on-Film has confirmation that it is Ken Watanabe who will be playing the Demon in the upcoming Batman film. Which is… weird.
Don’t get me wrong, Watanabe is a great actor with charisma to spare. After seeing The Last Samurai, I had half a mind to hire the dude to follow me around town because the pure force of his scowl alone would be enough to deter any attacks on my person. But hasn’t Ra’s always been European?
Also, does anyone know how good Watanabe’s English is? It was heavily-accented but understandable in TLS; it’s possible that his American accent is much better and he was merely pulling a Lambert Wilson for the dramatic effect. Oh well; at least it guarantees he’ll sound cool calling Bale “detective”.
Does this mean that Talia will also be Japanese, or what?
But Ra’s Al Ghul isn’t Asian….
February 24th, 2004Batman-on-Film has confirmation that it is Ken Watanabe will be playing the Demon in the upcoming Batman film. Which is… weird.
Don’t get me wrong, Watanabe is a great actor who has charisma to spare. After seeing The Last Samurai, I had half a mind to hire the dude to follow me around town because the pure force of his scowl alone would be enough to deter any attacks on my person. But hasn’t Ra’s always been European?
Also, does anyone know how good Watanabe’s English is? It was heavily-accented but understandable in TLS; it’s possible that his American accent is much better and he was merely pulling a Lambert Wilson for the dramatic effect. Oh well; at least it guarantees he’ll sound cool calling Bale “detective”.
Does this mean that Talia will also be Japanese, or what?
Really?
February 19th, 2004Morgan Freeman to play Lucius Fox in new Batman film.
That’s, um… that’s actually kinda cool.
Lucius Fox. Morgan Freeman.
Huh.
The era of the Buffyverse is officially ending
February 13th, 2004Idiot executives are cancelling a great Joss Whedon show. AGAIN.
First Firefly is cancelled, then Buffy limps to its finale, and now Angel is axed. I pretty much have no more reason to watch TV now.
[Not to mention the fact that Jonah Goldberg is semi-bailing on his readers, but that's hardly an MD topic.]
Here’s hoping for some truly great uber-crossover TV movies to tie up all the Buffyverse loose ends.
“True Story”, my eye
February 10th, 2004NOTE: Expect Hutch to make another post on this subject within the next half hour 
The trailer for the new Viggo Mortensen film Hidalgo that I’ve been seeing for what seems like a year now (rarely a good sign, incidentally) was sufficiently rousing and might have even gotten me to see the movie.
Unfortunately, not only does it look like the movie is pretty bad, but it seems as if the Frank Hopkins individual the film is based on is the Old West’s equivalent of Michael Moore.
So even if “Aragorn Skywalker’s 2-Hour Podrace” does turn out to be a decent flick, I myself have little interest in seeing a prolific liar’s lies be glorified on the big screen.
Star Wars, original trilogy, on DVD. Party Time.
February 10th, 2004Well now, that wasn’t so hard, was it, Mr. Lucas?
Of course, it’s the “Special Editions”, not the original theatrical cuts, being released. Even speaking as a sometime-defender of the SEs, I have to wonder exactly HOW hard it would have been for Flannel the Hutt to release both versions.
If the Alien “Quadrilogy” can have two different cuts for each movie, yer darn tootin’ that Star Wars could. Sigh… just don’t add anything else, okay?
Can it really be possible they’re making this movie?
February 3rd, 2004What else could I be talking about but Sky Captain: World of Tomorrow? Man, I love that title.
Simply looking at the trailer is enough to give ya goosebumps. I say if you’re going to overuse CGI and bluescreen technology, it should be for something like this. You listening, Lucas?
But strangely enough, nobody seems to have linked to the set reports at least two websites have made from SC:TWOT while I was in Vegas this weekend Shame!
Clickety-clickety:
CHUD set report one
CHUD set report two
AICN set report
AICN webmaster Harry Knowles rambles on about the movie’s influences… with pictures
Reading about the movie would only make me more excited about seeing it, and I’m excited enough to start punching random people as it is, so.
June 11th, baby.
Hardcore tentacle action. NOT anime-related!
January 16th, 2004Tobey is still doing whatever a spider can… as long as a spider can get his grill jacked up by some serious metal tentacles.
New Spider-Man 2 picture, is what I’m getting at. Enjoy.
Hardcore tentacle action. NOT anime-related!
January 16th, 2004Tobey is still doing whatever a spider can… as long as a spider can get his grill jacked up by some serious metal tentacles.
New Spider-Man 2 picture, is what I’m getting at. Enjoy.
“Who are you?” “I’m the Party Pooper.
December 17th, 2003Yeah, so it looks like courtesy of a midnight screening, I’m the first MD-er to review Return of the King.
I know that the movie’s review-proof and all (TTT certainly proved that last year), but honestly… it’s awful. Terrible. At times it is howlingly, horrifyingly bad. I’m not being sarcastic– I don’t think that there is literally one entire scene that is not in some way marred by some manner of idiocy.
And although it may come as a surprise to some people who know, I often DO doubt myself, and wonder if I’m right. More than once I’ve pondered the possibility that I’m just being an arbitrary crank, feeling a needless an inexplicable cynicism towards the last two LOTR movies.
But then, Jackson and co. add in a scene where Elrond explains that Sauron has somehow poisoned Arwen and if Sauron doesn’t die then Arwen will soon (and people thought that the Joker killing Batman’s parents was stupid), and I doubt myself no more; this script was indeed written by idiots. Or, how the Paths of the Dead somehow got turned into Disneyland’s freaking Haunted Mansion, cackling ghosts and all.
I’m sorry, I’m so terribly sorry. Hey, it’s 4:40 a.m., I’m allowed to be melodramatic.
Oh, and one more thing: after this movie gets the obligatory raves, if I ever hear one more person claim that John Woo overuses slow motion, then here comes Mr. Punch.
The Passion of the Geeks
December 8th, 2003Every year, Ain’t It Cool News webmaster Harry Knowles holds “Butt-Numb-A-Thon” a 230-strong collection of geeks, sits them in Texas’s Alamo Drafthouse, and they watch over 24 consecutive hours of film entertainment. The content has ranged from “Magnolia” to early John Wayne films to old newsreels to 45 minutes of B-movie trailers, to flicks about lesbian vampires.
This year Harry’s selection process for the participants differed– and now we know why. The final film shown was a very rough cut of Mel Gibson’s upcoming powerhouse “The Passion of the Christ” (originally entitled simply “The Passion”, until the fat babies at Miramax whined that they already had a movie named that).
For those not familiar with the film, it is uber-Catholic (who knew?) Gibson’s highly-graphic, highly-visual labor of love about the last twelve hours in the life of Jesus Christ. For reasons of realism, the only languages spoken in the film are Latin and Aramaic (with subtitles, although originally Mel did not want them in at all).
Everyone who has seen the film thus far was left stunned by its power; BNAT attenders are, interestingly, no exception. Barely a day removed from the proceedings, AICN is already reviewing the crap out of the movie.
Keep in mind that they all watched the film at the tail end of 30 straight hours of non-stop movie-watching. And that the first film of the night was “Return of the King”, with Peter Jackson himself in attendance. And that the cut of “The Passion” was extremely rough, with only about 30% of the music done, many of the shots not color-timed yet, and plenty of special effects incomplete.
When hardened, cynical, liberal movie geeks come away from a film the same way as Kathryn Jean Lopez, it is time to pay attention.
Come February 25, Martin Scorsese’s “Jesus” (in “The Last Temptation of Christ”) will be barely a distant memory.
“You have to know. Even if you don’t believe, you have to know.”
Eric’s Review of Job Wanted!
December 3rd, 2003(should this go under a Fuzzball or Shooting Star listing? Oh well.)
The Atomic Comics I pre-ordered Job Wanted from called me today to tell me I could pick it up, but when I went down there later this skinny girl with a USSR-logo shirt (hammer, sickle, and all) told me I COULDN’T get it and the manager must have been confused. But after I threatened to call Michael Hutchison HIMSELF to settle the matter, she whimpered, backed down, and gave it to me without a fuss! Yeah, that’s what I’m talking out.
Aw, I’m just kidding, that didn’t happen. Even I don’t name-drop that badly. I just told her how I’d pre-paid for it a few months ago (hence the confusion) and she let me have it. Nice commie.
But, to the review. Keep in mind that I don’t exactly have a completely objective viewpoint, because… well, duh.
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