And now, here is an alternate possibility from the “Gritty Reboots” people.

Now…check this out!!!

Just in time for Superman’s 75th Anniversary, here is our podcast about the Superman movies.  It was recorded in early 2010..so forgive my foolish yearnings at the end to see a Green Lantern movie.  This is probably the best-sounding and most ambitious podcast, although I actually didn’t bother to go through and remove ums and ahs like I usually do.. It has music and I learned some new Adobe tricks.  Believe it or not, the original MP3 file of this 75 minute recording was 108 megs!  I shrunk it down to 18, but it’s still huge.  I hope this will tide you over for a little while.

This will be the last of our Lost Podcasts, and Erik and I will be recording some new material soon.  What do YOU want us to discuss?  Leave a note in the comments!

If you want to subscribe, the Feed links are in a box on the right-hand side.

At least he’s recreating a fight where he had his shirt on!

Almost is because very now and then, they offer a grab bag day to clear out their inventory of remaining shirts.  The shirts are only $6, you choose your size, and you can order up to 12 of them…and it’s potluck.  Until the package arrives, you don’t know what designs you’ll get.

I’ve managed to miss EVERY grab bag day!  So when the February 2013 grab bag day arrived, I did the full 12.  I was really hoping to get the Indiana Mouse one I missed, or any of the constant Dr. Who shirts they have.  Here’s how it turned out.

The Precious Gem:

• Bender as The Iron Giant.  Absolutely awesome.

Acceptable:

• Scully from X-Files pin-up – Gave this one to the wife.
• Willy Wonka Quote – Not much of a design, but I’ll keep it.
• Two different HP Lovecraft shirts – There’s one of a guy reading Necronomicon while Cthulhu appears behind him. It looks cool.  The better one parodies Where The Wild Things Are.  Not a huge Lovecraft nut…I’ve never read any…but I’ll hang on to them.
• Sea Monster attacking a boat is from Mario Bros. – I’ll keep it, just for the comments I’ll get from big Mario Bros fans.
• Time to Cook – I love Breaking Bad but have never watched Adventure Time.  Still, cool shirt.

The reject pile:

I’m selling all of these.  Don’t know yet if I’ll put these on eBay or what, but if you’re interested, make me an offer in the comments section!

• Super Saiyan Man – Superman rips open his own shirt to reveal…an orange shirt with a Japanese character.  The heck? I had to look up this one.  Turns out it’s a Dragon Ball Z reference.  It’s probably cute…if you like Dragon Ball Z.
• Camera Robot – This is probably cool if you’re a camera aficionado.
• Boba Fett in Assassin’s Creed gear – Not my thing.
• Tools of the Trade – I don’t even get what this shirt is for.  It must be a video game I don’t play.  Oh, yep, I just looked it up.  Metal Gear Solid. And they sent me TWO of them!  That surprised me.  I didn’t think that TeeFury would stick you with two of the same shirt in a grab bag.  That kind of stinks.  I’m guessing they had a LOT of these left over and every grab bag buyer got one.  Any Metal Gear Solid fans out there?  This one is already for sale!

Not a great haul.  Honestly, only one gem, from a site that has gems that I pass by every day?  (I can’t buy every great shirt!)  Here’s hoping I can find the people who were salivating for that great shirt that got away (and wants it in 2XL).  I may even move a few of the “acceptable” ones to the sell pile.

Discussed in this podcast:

Batman Watches, Femme Noir, PS238, X-Men, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Bone, The Art of Joe Jusko, Bloom County … oh, and kvetching about the 2009 Star Trek.

Most comic book writers, if they want to bring up politics, just have the character that they like spout their politics.

Case in point: Angel O’Dare crossing Times Square and trashing Giuliani the whole way in a voice that doesn’t even sound like Angel’s in the Vertigo version of “Angel and the Ape.”

It’s not tied in with the story at all, or prompted by anything.  It’s just Chaykin spouting off via the character who is his voice.

Perhaps Alfred the butler will take a moment to lament to Batman about how cruel fox-hunting is, even though the anti-aristocracy slant and the mere fact that Alfred is sharing his opinions in a rant instead of a one-liner both seem way out of character.

Or we get “Batman: Seduction of the Gun” or “Batman: Death of Innocence” or that story where Green Arrow watches a nun step on a land mine and then looks inside the land mine to see that his company manufactured it (because a human being’s first instinct is to look at the inside cover of an exploded land mine after someone has died).  Stories that are all one-sided diatribes about a great evil in the world that is beyond the superhero’s capacity to resolve.  Where statistics are delivered during quiet moments of extended dialogue between two characters.

You could almost be forgiven for thinking that Chuck Dixon just never does any “important stories” because you wouldn’t recognize them as such.

Here’s how Chuck Dixon handles “tonight on a very special Birds of Prey”.

Birds of Prey #7, “The Villain”.

Chuck takes on, of all things, Slobodon Milosevic, via a proxy.  In this story, Black Canary must escort an Eastern European general to his trial while avoiding soldiers and other people who want him dead.  As they dodge gunfire, Dinah makes it clear she doesn’t like the guy; she just thinks he deserves to be convicted by the world instead of murdered.  However, as they run and dodge and sneak and fight, the general makes a couple of good points.  She chastises him for having women working in sweatshops.  He points out that if not for the factories, which are considered good jobs to have, the women would be working backbreaking labor in the fields, or worse.  When they are finally cornered, the general saves Dinah’s life and takes a bullet meant for her.  Dinah, having failed in her mission, owing her life to a man she resents and no longer as certain of herself, departs.

Chuck’s character, that is to say the character that he likes, Black Canary, takes on the general liberal view (indeed, the general public’s view) that any dictator is a monster, and it’s a position that most of the readers will easily agree with in the beginning.  The political points made in the story are precisely what such a person would be saying in his defense, and they are debatable (but for many readers will be entirely new information).  There is no letter column at the end that prompts anyone to get involved with the issue, call a phone number and make a difference.  Nobody acts out of character to make the story work.  Indeed, it is Dinah’s moral character which is put to the test.

In the end, you have a single-issue story that doesn’t try to get you aping a viewpoint at the end, but prompts you to think about aspects of an issue that you may never have considered, all while entertaining and providing some intense drama.  Most of all, it may prompt you to read it again…always the sign of a great comic book.

This recap, by the way, is from memory.  I sold all of my early BoP issues because they were going for big bucks.  But I miss this one.   (It’s also the debut of the electronic canary cry.)

Sigh.  Now enjoy 25 Not So Super Supermen.

via It’s Uncanny, This Valley: The Ups And Downs Of Cinematic CGI InHumanity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm7aE4xUjwQ&feature=player_embedded

I suppose it’s “hipster” of me to be a little resentful of how popular the show is now, considering I loved it back in the day when it was filmed in rock quarries and the budget for an episode was about as much as a phaser blast special effect cost on Star Trek.  If there’s one thing that bugs me, it’s how the show almost never refers to the old series, which is why I appreciate that there are a few appearances in that new marathon promo above.  Granted, the series is a hit precisely because you’re not obligated to know any old continuity, but the way it almost pretends that nothing came before Doctor #9 (whatsisname…the one that looks like a soccer hooligan) gets a little irritating.

I don’t buy many of the classic DVDs simply because of the cost.  I realize that the episodes are as long as a movie sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I want to pay $20 to watch “Kinda”.  Still, I think it’s awesome that they are spiffing up a few of the older episodes with special editions.  Check out the promo for the new “Day of the Daleks” Special Edition.

Honestly, I watched this episode once a long time ago and it was a dull bore, culminating in a face-off with UNIT and three rickety Daleks.  Now it has been enhanced with new footage shot in the same location.  (Oh, but the original is also included.  TAKE THAT, GEORGE LUCAS!)

Oh, and in case you’re wondering: Yes, I do buy the occasional Doctor Who DVD.  I own “The Five Doctors” and the Tom Baker story, “The Ark In Space.”  (Elizabeth Sladen, who passed away from cancer this year after a career resurgence making new Doctor Who appearances and “The Sarah Jane Adventures“, has a commentary on “Ark”.)  There are a few that have been on my wish list as I wait for the price to come down a bit:  Sylvester McCoy’s “Remembrance of the Daleks” (inarguably one of his best episodes), the classic “Earthshock,” and the 2084 cold war story “Warriors of the Deep” (those of you against CGI’d special editions should take a look at the Myrka in this one and imagine how much better the story could have been with a little help from ILM).

I think it’s pretty clear to everyone that Green Lantern tried to do too much and pack in too much exposition.  But just in case you haven’t heard it enough:  Why Iron Man Succeeded Where Green Lantern Failed.

Then I realized why they weren’t including dialogue in the trailer for Kill List:

You have to see the Fargo one.

I don’t care what anyone says.  Winchester from M.A.S.H. was certainly the right voice for J’onn J’onzz, and while he may be out of shape, he was going to be a shadowy advisor to the League.  It’s not a terrible idea.

Disney allegedly halted production of “The Lone Ranger” because of the $200 million price tag.

*sputter* $200 million???  Two hundred million DOLLARS to make a western where two guys ride on horses firing guns at other guys on horses?

Guys, you don’t have to use actual silver for the bullets.

I’m truly baffled.  Westerns used to be the bread and butter of Hollywood because you got the most bang for your buck.  A standard western town lot, some horsies, some guns, a lot of money for the stunt men… and bang, you’ve got a movie.  There’s no reason on God’s green Earth that a western should be costing Lord of the Rings prices.

“The Lone Ranger”, if you focus on STORY, should be the kind of cheap film that a studio uses to balance out the gaudy tentpoles.  Something tells me I don’t want to see a Lone Ranger that costs $200 million-plus.

I certainly don’t want to see a 3D Three Musketeers movie that needed to add CGI war blimps.

Johnny Depp’s overacting is painful just as it was in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, with the added bonus of being pedo-creepy in that he gives the Mad Hatter a crush on a girl he previously met as a child (and Depp is twice her age as well). But I finally realized my big hang-up with Tim Burton movies:

What the hell is it about pasty white skin that Tim Burton thinks is so goddam enchanting?

Look, Beetlejuice was dead, and The Joker IS pasty white, and Edward Scissorhands is pale from never seeing the sun. I get that. But then, Catwoman and The Penguin were pasty white, too. I guess I attributed it to the wintry color scheme of the movie. And of course, the animated films about gruesome monsters and dead people would have pasty white skin.  That makes sense.  Pee-Wee Herman isn’t exactly George Hamilton, either, but that’s a pre-existing character.

But then you throw in films where the white skin clearly isn’t related to the character’s being dead or British, such as Sleepy Hollow, or Depp’s bizarre take on Willy Wonka as a Michael Jacksony freak, and it begins to look pathological.  Then there’s the Mad Hatter, the Red Queen, the White Queen and endless other Alice in Wonderland characters…  You begin to suspect that Hollywood just keeps giving Tim Burton cash to make these garish films because without his career he’d just be hanging around mortuaries while vigorously abusing himself.

Mrow!

Carmine was promoting his new book, “The Amazing World of Carmine Infantino,” and he regaled us of stories about working in comic books.  He told us about the infamous cover of Batman that sold 1 million copies, and how the aggressive poses of Batgirl and Catwoman as they fought over the prone and helpless Batman was based on an idea by William Moulton Marston.  He reflected on how the “Seduction of the Innocent” book was filled with a lot of baseless charges of sexual suggestion where there wasn’t any… but when it came to Marston’s work, yeah, that was probably pretty much true.

I was so nervous, but I finally saw an opportunity and raised my hand.  I told him how I was the world’s biggest fan of his creation Elongated Man, I babbled on a bit about how I thought he had a lot of unrealized potential, and what did he think about Elongated Man now?

Carmine, looking rather perplexed by my devotion to his creation, narrowed his eyes a bit and asked, “You, uh, you’ve heard of Plastic Man, right?”

I’ll admit it.  I was a little stunned.  I had been defending Ralph Dibny as his own unique character for years.  I explained to other fans time and again how they were different in personality, powers and their place in the DCU.  And yet the guy who created him saw him as little more than a copy of Plastic Man!

Here’s a juicy tidbit for you: Elongated Man almost WAS Plastic Man!   Had Carmine known that DC Comics had recently bought the rights to Plastic Man, then he never would have bothered with the unwieldy monicker of Elongated Man.

Now, does this mean that supervillain Ralph Dibny in his purple costume would have been named “Plastic Man”?  Would he have been introduced as the new Silver Age Plastic Man, to someday encounter the Golden Age Plastic Man of Earth-2?  Would the Eel O’Brien Plastic Man have appeared in the Flash as a villain, or as a hero?  Or does Mr. Infantino mean that he would have scrapped the whole Elongated Man idea because DC owned “the real thing”?  That is unclear.

So, he was almost a member of The Flash’s Rogues Gallery.  And he was almost Plastic Man!   He came within a hair of not even existing at all.

See what I mean about his being all wrong?

More to come, folks!

No, I’m not even linking it. Go there at your own risk. That site is like a pop culture form of heroin.

Tomorrow, I will be painting my lawn furniture, and then working on some bills, and then hopefully finishing my Elongated Man piece. For now…I need sleep.

No time for part two of Elongated Man tonight.  And yes, I’m trying to redesign the site to look more comic booky.

I’ve liked him ever since I was a kid and I saw a page from Justice League of America #100, where the Flash calls him “Ralph” while they’re fighting bad guys and it merited an editor’s note: “Ralph ‘Elongated Man’ Dibny is the only superhero to make his identity known to the public.”   I thought that was awesome because it made him different.  I suppose it says something about me that the key to my liking him was an intriguing editor’s note.

There’s an element of rooting for the underdog, certainly.  I’m sure it may be simply a contrarian nature, where I have to like the guy that no one likes so that it makes me different.  But the plain fact is, I like him.  I could read his adventures all day, and I truly enjoy them.

I think it’s because he’s all wrong.

I mean, look at him.  He’s not muscular like any cover-space grabbing superhero should be.  He’s handsome, I suppose, to the same extent that Keanu Reeves, David Schwimmer or Dick van Dyke are handsome but not hunky, smoldering, “make the ladies throw their panties handsome” a la Brad Pitt.  He isn’t even marketable.  He has a terribly goofy name that lends itself to double entendre, a secret identity that gets misspelled as “Digby” even by writers at DC Comics, and no logo.  You know that JLA meeting table where everyone has a space-age chair with their logo or distinctive icon on the back?  I don’t even know what Ralph’s chair has on it.  I would bet you it’s an E that looks like it was written with spaghetti, and that’s disgraceful.  (Granted, J’onn J’onzz has the planet Mars on his, so Ralph gets the Silver Medal for “worst chair”.)  Why would they even create a superhero this bad?

They didn’t.  He was supposed to be a supervillain.

Flash #112, the first appearance of Elongated Man

Elongated Man was created as the enemy of The Flash in issue #112 of “The Flash.”  That’s why he doesn’t have a nice logo, handsome looks or a marketable name that could be the title of its own comic someday.  It’s why he has red hair, not blonde (Flash, Green Arrow, Aquaman), brown (The Atom, Dr. Magnus, John Jones) or brunette/dark blue (Superman) like every other superhero on the market.  It’s why he has a purple costume, as all of the Flash’s enemies have costumes with secondary colors to contrast with the Flash’s striking red and gold.

Once you realize this, then The Elongated Man makes a little sense.  Mr. Element (green), Mirror Master (orange and green), Weather Wizard (green), Captain Cold (white and blue), Heat Wave (white), Golden Glider (looks orange), Captain Boomerang (blue), Trickster (orange and blech) …none of them have The Flash’s color scheme, and the few that have the primary color of blue have a pale blue.   None have an iconic logo, and few have names that really sing; they were created to be catchy and distinctive, sure, but not to sell books in the same way that a protagonist is designed.  Ralph Dibny is right up there with Len Snart, Digger Harkness, Sam Scudder, Hartley Rathaway, Mark Mardon and Roscoe Dillon as a name that’s distinctive but not awesome.  (It’s not alliterative, nor is it two first names, nor is it macho.)

In this story, Elongated Man appears on the scene in Central City, having already made a name for himself in other cities.  He rescues cats and stops crooks before The Flash can, and this makes the Flash jealous.  Really, Barry Allen gets his nose out of joint like you wouldn’t believe just because another hero steals his thunder, and this makes the Flash suspicious of this new Elongated Man.  When some vases are stolen from an inaccessible museum room, he realizes Elongated Man could have done it, and later ends up pursuing EM who tries to trap the Flash as seen on the cover.

It’s at this point in the story that creators John Broome and Carmine Infantino realized they liked Elongated Man as a superhero, and changed their minds about making him an enemy.  Although Carmine never said this to me (I met him at FallCon long ago), I am also willing to bet they realized that he had zero potential as a recurring enemy of a guy who grabs bullets out of the air.  I mean, really?  He’s going to win against the Flash because his upper torso stretched around a tree to grab The Flash from behind?  Doesn’t that mean that The Flash can be defeated by two normal people, so long as he doesn’t see the second guy?

So: Elongated Man would have been a member of the Flash’s Rogues Gallery, except that the creators like him as a superhero, but they left all the trappings of the supervillain that they created.

Tomorrow, I’ll further explore more of how Elongated Man is the triple fried egg sandwich with chili sauce and chutney of the superhero set.

I thought the premise of Marines in Afghanistan taking on giant sand monsters sounded great, but “Sand Serpents” proved me wrong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8P4qnyZtvao

And while I’ve thought all of my life that there is a truly great movie to be made from the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, the Tony Todd version of “Minotaur” was not it. Oh, it’s good, but not great. That one’s at least worth a watch.

So, did I find any real gems? Yes, I found one. “Infestation” is a great popcorn flick. It has good acting and a decent plot. In fact, I’d say it’s a very decent plot, inasmuch as it rarely has moments where you’re chiding the characters for doing something stupid. The dialogue has wit, and there’s a running gag that I won’t spoil but it’s excellent. The ending is rather unique, too.