Wife Crying at end of Return of the Jedi

This is too hilarious!

See more at The Official Wife Crying at Movies Site

Of course, if there’s anything to cry about, it’s that they appear to have watched the Star Wars movies in the order of 1-6, because she keeps sobbing about Anakin and Padme.  It’s disturbing that there’s a whole generation for whom the revelation in “Empire Strikes Back” is not a plot twist.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

No flying cars, neither.

So I’m watching “Can’t Buy Me Love“. It’s a 1987 movie from when Seth Green was a little punk.

In it, Patrick Dempsey plays a 17-year-old geek who arranges for a senior class hottie to date him for a month so that the “In Crowd” will consider him to be one of them. As the month wanes, the cheerleader sees him as a real person and begins to fall for him, especially when he takes them out for their last date. As they look through his telescope at the moon, he tells her that when he is his dad’s age there will be people living and working on the moon.

And then it hit me. 1987? His dad is played by Dennis Dugan of The Unidentified Flying Oddball
, who was 41 in 1987. I was a 17-year-old geek myself in 1987, so that math is pretty easy for me to do: Patrick’s character would be turning 41 in 2011.

Are we living on the moon yet? No. We’re even canceling the next generation of space travel.

Oh well, movies never get the future right. “2010: The Year We Make Contact” thought we’d still be locked in a space race with the U.S.S.R., and there are only five more years to invent hoverboards. On the plus side, I think Back to the Future 2 was a bit conservative in thinking the trend among teenagers would be to wear clothing inside outs. Last week, in 5 degree Fahrenheit and blowy Minnesota, I saw a punk walking down the street with his entire boxer shorts showing above his jeans, which he could only be supporting with his thighs. (Idiot.)

No jet-packs, no flying cars, no living on the moon. The only monumental thing to happen since 1987 is they remade “Can’t Buy Me Love.”

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Red Letter Media reviews “Avatar”

The guy who tore apart The Phantom Menace and the Star Trek movies strikes again!

Part Two:

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

2010 on TCM!

Turner Classic Movies is showing 2010: The Year We Make Contact today!

If you haven’t seen it, it’s the sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey. It doesn’t have Kubrick’s vision, but it does have action and a plot that makes more sense. The special effects and acting are top-notch. Unfortunately, the movie still has us fighting the Cold War against the Soviet Union in 2010, and this makes it horribly outdated.

Turner Classic Movies seems to be making a few changes for 2010; they now show movies made in the 1980s and the 1990s! (“L.A. Confidential”, which is only a decade old, is on in a couple days.) Here’s hoping this only means that they’ve expanded their range for what they consider “classics”, because I remember when American Movie Classics suddenly started showing “Turner and Hooch” and shortly afterward renamed themselves America’s Movie Crapfest, er, Channel.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Podcast #4: Chatting about Movies and Star Trek

This started out as a test of my new equipment to see if the sound quality improved (it did). Unfortunately, you should not get two guys with extensive video store clerking experience chatting about random movies. We talked for about 50 minutes! We learn that Erik pronounces “bio-pic” without the hyphen. I tend to be vocabulary-challenged and say “like”, “um” and “you know” way too much. I prepare for an MST3K version of Star Trek, and my brother ruins “Fellowship of the Ring” forever. Also, who wants us to do a list of “Great movies you may not have seen?” (Erik talks over my sarcastic line, “Have you ever heard of The Princess Bride?” Could have been a gem. Oh well.)

Recorded June 30th. I had to laugh when I heard what I say at 55:05.

 

 Chatting About Movies and Star Trek: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Read the rest of this entry »

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

 Loading ...

Phantom Menace epic review (or epic fail?)

This one is especially filled with obscenities, so please be doubly-warned before pressing play.

But really…if you like funny reviews, you need to see this! It’s hilarious, and yet it makes some hard points…such as:
WHO was the main character of the Phantom Menace?

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

RedLetterMedia’s ST: Nemesis review (hilarious!)

I know I didn’t like Star Trek: Nemesis, but this really helps bring to light that I only thought of half the reasons it sucked.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

RedLetterMedia’s Generations Review

I haven’t posted in a while. To make up for it, here are a ton of reviews on YouTube that I found. These are hilarious and insightful, culminating in a wonderful takedown of Phantom Menace.

PLEASE NOTE: A lot of these have language that is NSFW.

Let’s start with his review of Star Trek: Generations:

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Iron Man 2 Trailer!!!!

Awesome!

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Real-Life E.T. discovered!

Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Sgt. Rock movie? Yeah, right.

Oh look, Akiva Goldsman is a producer. And it’s moved from World War II to the future. Next thing you know, he won’t be American…because that would be “jingoistic”.

Relax. This will not get made.

Look, they missed their chance to do it right by casting Bruce Willis in the 1980s. Stallone and Schwarzenegger? Nope, that didn’t happen.  And this current generation of pretty boy actors is very short on the kind of men who could pull this off.   Unless we’re going to cast Gerard Butler or Robert Downey Jr. in every comic book adaptation, I doubt they’d be able to get past the casting stage.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special

I’ve always meant to see this. As we enter the holiday season, it’s time to relax with the Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special. NSFW, contains language, etc. … though it’s nowhere near as explicit as the real comic.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Movie Trailer: The Box

Back in the 1980s, the Twilight Zone had its first revival, and one of the best episodes was “Button, Button”.  The premise was very simple: a couple struggling financially is given a very simple button in a box.  If they press the button, someone that they don’t know will die and they will get a pantload of money.

Looking up that episode, I saw that it was going to be remade by the writer.  Now it looks like that movie will be coming out just in time for Halloween under the name The Box.

Here’s the only problem I have with this: that is a very simple premise that barely filled a half hour. How do you make this movie-length without diluting the story’s one-two punch of an ending?

Some stories just aren’t supposed to be 90 minutes long.  Look at The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.  There was a very short book that told an excellent story.  Even the TV episode version of it was padded with songs and bits of business in order to fill that length.  And then they made it into a movie, and there’s just no way to do that without garbaging it up.

(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)

 Loading ...

We are interested in the future, for that is where we will spend the rest of our lives…

Can your heart stand, THIS REMAKE!?!

Plan 9 Teaser Trailer from Darkstone Entertainment on Vimeo.

Let us reward the innocent, and…
Aw skip it…

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Batman Movies, Part 3

Tune in for our third and final Batman podcast, sponsored by TooManyLongboxes.com. No, we’re not doing the podcast quarterly! We now have better equipment and will turn them around much faster. Here is the last of the three Batman podcasts that I recorded in January with Erik Burnham.  The sound is improved, but after this one they should all sound as good as my introduction to this third installment.

 

 Monitor Duty Podcast 3 -- Batman movies part 3: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Batman Begins
The Dark Knight
What’s Next?

In case you missed them:

Batman movies podcast Part 1
Batman movies podcast Part 2

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

 Loading ...

Apple Movie Trailers: Legion

Legion looks very bizarre.

I’m tempted to do that David Spade “I liked it the first time I saw it…when it was called The Prophecy!” except I didn’t like The Prophecy.  It looks to be yet another post-religious film with little understanding of doctrine aside from what it can use to tell the story it wants to tell.

Wait a minute… people in an isolated diner facing off against supernatural menace?

Actually, it bears more similarity to “Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight” which was an okay movie.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Beautiful new Tron Legacy trailer

Actually, this is billed as an SFX test, but this trailer is amazing.

Bruce Boxleitner is in this, too! Excellent.

Here’s a point for discussion: I actually appreciate trailers like this, featuring a single exciting scene to get your curiosity, rather than the rapid flashing Blipverts of dozens of moments from the movie.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

A few more thoughts about G.I. Joe

These thoughts regarding G.I. Joe contain spoilers, so I’m hiding them after this break.

• Read the rest of this entry »

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

R.I.P. John Hughes (Updated)

Here’s the first celebrity death in a long time that has truly hit me hard: John Hughes, writer, director, producer, is dead at 59 of a heart attack.

The films he was involved in reads like a greatest hits of the 1980s list: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Home Alone, Trains, Planes and Automobiles, She’s Having a Baby, Pretty In Pink, Some Kind of Wonderful, Weird Science, National Lampoon’s Vacation, The Breakfast Club…and Career Opportunities, a lesser hit with a fantastic poster.

Rest In Peace, Mr. Hughes.

UPDATED: I’m not alone in my sentiments that this hurts far worse than the recent death of the self-mutilated child molester that we had to be told was influential.
Big Hollywood: “The Frank Capra of Generation X has Died“, a well-written tribute that puts my meager words to shame.
Carl Kozlowski: “Don’t You Forget About Him”

John Hughes’ movies were the true voice of my generation. I think the last person whose death hurt this badly was Jim Henson, also taken way too early.

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...

Green Lantern: First Flight trailer

I’m stoked. Are you stoked?

(No Ratings Yet)

 Loading ...